Smiles Lie

So Long And Thanks For All The Replies!

2005-12-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I've never been good at keeping up with journal-type things, and this one is no exception! It was fun while it lasted, but I think we all know I'm not going to update anymore. And, you know, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

So, see you around!

I Am Such A Loser

2005-11-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

Sign #2,619 that you've been in college too fucking long:

You actually cite Foucault and discuss the implications of cross-cultural comparisons for the social construction argument about incest taboos in a thread about a shitty Harry Potter incest fic on Godawful.net. And you don't even like Harry Potter.

Silence Is Golden (Except In Class).

2005-10-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

It's strange how things change over the course of a few short weeks. At the beginning of the quarter (OSU is on a quarter system, which sucks super bad), I had a very definite concept of how my three classes rated. I liked my India class best, my feminist theory class...um...middle, and my pedagogy class least. Then, after the first two weeks or so, my pedagogy class stopped having presentations by on-campus services (such as the writing center) and we started getting into these deep conversations. Meanwhile, the conversations came to a screeching halt in my India class.

Thing I Hate #3:

People Who Don't Participate

Why don't they talk? I don't know. But it's damn annoying. There are 8 people in that class, 3 of whom NEVER speak. Like, ever. One girl talks every now and then, but she's one of two undergrads in the class (the other one doesn't talk), and she's not quite on par with the rest of us, with regards to theory. Except for me, all of the grad students are at least 2nd year, so they're pretty advanced. So that leaves four of us and the teacher to carry the conversations. And I don't want to talk because I fucking hate everything about school and women's studies right now. *sigh* It hurts.

Location Location Location

2005-10-25T18:05:00.000-06:00

Thing #2:

I Hate Living So Far East

I hate being so far away from my friends and my immediate family. Sure, I have aunts, uncles, and cousins, as well as my biological father and his family (including my half-sister, who I really am glad to be near again). However, most of these people I haven't seen for 10 years. They're nice people, but they're strangers. And don't even get me started on my biological father. I think of my step-dad as my real father.

I just feel really stranded out here. In Laramie, I knew there was always someone I could call for help. There were people I felt comfortable talking to and sharing personal stuff with (which I really don't do, as a general rule). I trust them, which is no small thing. I don't have that here. I don't have that in this time zone. Here, I just have Evie, and as sweet and loving as she is, she's still a cat. I feel very alone. It is the suck.

I was thrilled that Linus could come visit me this weekend. I feel a little less sucky now, even though I'm sad that he had to leave so soon.

Car Update:

I got my car back!! So, last night at 2 am, Linus and I were finally going to go to sleep, and the phone rang. It was the police saying they'd found my car in Bexley (a suburb of Columbus) with two people in it. So, we drag our asses out there and get my car. The CD player was gone and the car itself is covered in cigarette ashes and trash, but other than that it's just fine. What a relief! They caught the guys who did it red handed, so they're totally screwed. Ha ha. And do you know how they stole the damn thing? My step-dad had put a spare key in a key "safe" (yes, those are sarcastic quotation marks) in one of the wheel wells, and then neglected to tell either me or my mother about it. Yes, they stole my car with its own key. I understand that he's lived in podunk towns his whole life, but seriously. WTF?! Seriously, that's so naive it's embarassing.

10 Things I Hate About You...Wait, I Can Only Pick 10?

2005-10-22T07:23:00.000-06:00

Okay, so this blog is getting a revamp. When I left for Laramie for the second half of the summer, I stopped writing because I was living with the majority of my readership and because my life was extremely uneventful in the best way possible. Flock Hall ruled. Then, when I left for grad school, I was way too fucking depressed to write. Columbus, Ohio is America's armpit and the Ohio State University is trying to kill my ass. This is why I've decided to turn this blog into:

Things I Hate About Columbus

The goal is to add a new thing every day, but I don't know if I'll be able to do that. Not because there aren't enough things (trust me, I won't be able to write about them all in the two years I'll be here), but because the university really is trying to kill me, so I may not have enough time to post every day. Even a sentence or two.

So, here is Thing #1, which inspired me to finally go ahead and do this blog revamp:

I Hate Car Thieves

Yes, my car was stolen last night. I take out the trash this morning and look in puzzlement at the empty space where my car is always parked for a moment, trying to work out in my sleep-addled brain what is wrong. Then I panic. I throw the garbage in the dumpster and run all over the parking lots for my apartment complex, desperately looking for my beloved white Subaru Legacy. But alas, some miscreants have absconded with it. Yes, I have a fucking bus pass. Yes, the #2 bus stops right in front of my apartment and runs up and down High Street, which has everything I need on it. That is not the goddamn point. The goddamn point is that I needed my fucking car to get groceries home. I needed it to move furniture. I needed it to get to my family's houses, where the busses don't run. I needed it to LEAVE THIS GODS FORSAKEN CITY. And on top of that, this car wasn't even mine, technically. It's still in my mom's name. She loved that car, but she gave it to me to use while I'm here so I would have something reliable to get around in. I'm living below the poverty line, here, people. How the hell am I supposed to get another car? I can't!

Oh, and on top of that, the bus drivers are going on strike any day now. How the hell I'm supposed to get to campus when that happens, I have no idea.

So, there you have it, folks! The inaugural post of my newly revamped blog!

Rainbow Update! Oh, And People Are Fucking Insane....

2005-07-13T23:17:00.000-06:00

So, my little Princess Rainbow Terrorist is at the vet's office right now getting spayed and declawed. I feel like a parent whose kid has gone away to camp for the first time. I'm all angsty and worried. I had to stop myself from calling the vet, like, 20 times today to check up on her. So to distract myself, we will have some photo fun and a new contest!

So, here is a photo of Rainbow taken right after I got home in mid-May:

These next two, I took last night. She is a little over 3 months old, like 13 or 14 weeks. She's bigger than my last cat Pookie was full grown:

This is my mom's new kitten, taken this afternoon. She is a month old. Maybe 5 weeks.

WOW! What a difference! Rainbow is a freak of nature! I love her sooooo much!

Okay, okay, I'll stop with the Cat Mommy Gushing and get on to the contest portion of tonight's post:

My mom is having the hardest time naming her new kitten! It's really driving my mom nuts. This kitty is just way too adorable to go nameless or end up with "Baby" or "Little Kitty" for a name. This is the kind of kitten that they put on Hallmark cards, people. So, submit your name suggestions and if my mom accepts your suggestion, then you will win an Endangered Species gourmet chocolate bar in your choice of either smooth milk chocolate or dark chocolate mint!

And now for something completely different....

More fun links!

How To Blow a Fortune (on Amazon.com) and Make the FBI's Most Wanted List! You should definitely read the customer reviews for the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank. (Yes, you read that right. The Badonkadonk Tank!)

Fast For George W. Bush. There's a group of people advocating fasting to help Bush with his holiness. With the obesity rates in the US, I think His Holiness is out of luck....

God wants you to be naked!

Figure skaters for Christ!

How to make a Golem. Who doesn't want to play God?

Parental abuse starts on the birth certificate! You would not believe the crazy shit people name their little snot goblins. And if you like that, check out the Utah Baby Name site! The tagline says "An online help for parents looking for that distinctive name that says 'I'm a Utah Mormon!'" Hee!

Hey, Linus! I lied! I am writing about you in this post! Love you!

More Random Randomness!

2005-07-10T01:33:00.000-06:00

1) Lovely time wasting links, mostly curtesy of Snarkfest:

Last 40 images posted on LiveJournal. It's just like it sounds, you click the link, you see the last 40 pics that were posted to LiveJournal! MAY NOT BE WORK SAFE. My favorite from tonight:

Kingdom of Loathing! Battle some Menacing Booze Giants and stealthy Snow Ninjas to collect Meatloaf Helmets and Filthy Corduroys! Dudes, I'm a frickin vegetarian (trying to transition to an almost-completely-vegan) and even I want a Meat Tree! From now on, I'm listing my occupation as "Disco Bandit" on any form that I possibly can.

Child Beauty Pageant Zombies Will Eat Your Soul! Click "samples" and then "color samples." Eeeee!

PostSecret Since they didn't put up my postcard, it's safe to post this! Go gawk at other people's pain!

2) I Knew I Should Have Read 'Good Omens' First....

Okay, so after last year's school craziness, I haven't been able to read for fun at all. That's totally upsetting to me, cuz I love love love me some books. I mean, last Winter Break (which was a month long, not the lame 3 weeks we got this year), I read 24 books. Sure, some of those were sci-fi/fantasy paperbacks that took me an afternoon, but still. This Winter Break and summer? No. None at all. I have the attention span of a gnat. I bought a bunch of books right after I got back to Idaho, and I just finished the first one (an extremely excellent collection of short stories by Neil Gaiman) yesterday. Today, I started a new book called Regina's Song by David and Leigh Eddings (please don't break up with me, Linus). Sure, it's got some problems, but I was rather enjoying the story, when I come to page 282. Everything is fine and dandy, the plot is starting to come to a head, and then...the book starts over from page 123, and continues until page 154, at which point it picks back up at page 317. Fuckin' A! I was planning to stay up until I either finished it, or fell asleep! But no. None of that for me. Instead, I had to e-mail the publisher and ask for the goddamn missing pages. *sigh*

3) The Countdown Begins

Yes, a week from today (it's a whole 48 minutes into Sunday, don't you know), I will be arriving back in Laramie! I'm totally excited, of course. I'm also having anxiety attacks and getting really sad. Part of it is that I always do that right before a move. If I'm going to school, that means I'm leaving my family, if I'm going back to Idaho it means I'm leaving my friends. It's always sad and it always requires a big mental shift and the development of new routines, which is always stressful to me. And a little bit of it has to do with the bouts of pessimistic anxiety experienced by a certain kilt-wearing Pontiff who shall remain nameless (but not linkless). Don't blame yourself, sweetie, I understand. But I'm not the impenetrable ice fortress I pretend to be....

But even still, I'm totally looking forward to seeing everyone (or at least, everyone who's still around) again. A good time will be had by all!

Thank you, drive thru!

All Kittens Is Bitches!

2005-07-01T14:16:00.000-06:00

Well, this is going to be a random collection of things. And there are funny pictures at the bottom of the post, so keep reading!

1) The Forum Is Up!

That's right, I've finally got the damn Flock forum up and running. Come on in! Start all the threads you want. I am a kind and benevolent Moderator. Clicky clicky!

2) New Family Member!

Terribly saddened by the thought of not having Rainbow around once she and I leave for Ohio, my mom decided to get herself a kitten. Luckily, Priest River Animal Rescue had one tiny little kitty needing a home. A great thing about being one of the founders of that organization and a sometime-foster home is that we can get our hands on them way sooner than anyone else. Usually, people have to wait until they're spayed or neutered first, which can't be done until they're about 4 months old. We, on the other hand, can just "foster" them until such time as they can be formally adopted. So now we have this teeny, tiny, round little kitten. She's enough to melt even Rainbow's heart. She still needs a name, though....

3) I Cannot Get Out Of This Country Fast Enough....

Sandra Day O'Connor retires from the Supreme Court In a related story, Bush prepares to deliver a vicious ass fucking to the rest of America.

4) I Got My Diploma Finally, Noticed Two Problems

Incompetent to the very end, U. Wyo misspelled my major on my diploma. Apparently, I got my bachelor's degree in "Women?s Studies." Fucking idiots. And people kept asking me why I wasn't going there for grad school too.

Also, in the lower right hand corner of the diploma is the seal of the state of Wyoming. And who should I spy on said seal? Torgo! Yes, everyone's favorite goat-man has been immortalized in a completely unexpected fashion. Here's a scan of my diploma if you don't believe me:

5) F Is For Fox!

Go West Young Nerd

2005-06-28T14:14:00.001-06:00

We salute our Locutus of Blog, Abra, as she joins the ranks of the graduated and begins her life in Seattle. We send her off with open hearts and our warmest of wishes. Take luck and enjoy your adventures, NerdyGirl, but remember we are only a blog post away.

Abra Kilroy
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

I love you Abra! Enjoy Seattle goodness! I know you're going to totally own that city within a month.

Comics In Braille Wouldn't Be That Bad, Right?

2005-06-28T14:14:00.000-06:00

So, I had to get glasses. I fucking hate them. They're ugly, they give me a headache and make me dizzy, and everything looks farther away than it is, so I'm constantly groping around like a retard when I try to grab something. I wish I'd never gone to the eye doctor in the first place. I wasn't going to wear them at all, they were just going to be very, very expensive coffee table decorations in my new apartment, but my dad smacked me in the face with some logic, so I feel like I have to now.

See, my dad is an optometrist, and though we're not close and I don't actually like him very much as a person or a father, he does know his shit when it comes to glasses. So, since the eye people here in Idaho are fucking incompetent, lazy assholes and wouldn't explain what the hell all those numbers in my prescription mean, I called my dad in Ohio to ask if my vision would get worse if I didn't wear my glasses. I also called him to beg him to adjust my glasses right* as soon as I get into Columbus in September. He said that my vision wouldn't get worse if I didn't wear my glasses, but I have a pretty hefty prescription, so I probably really need to wear them. The whole reason I went to get them in the first place was that I was getting terrible headaches all the time, so if these would make those stop, that would be a good thing, right? (*sigh*) He said I should wear them for two weeks to get used to them, and then after that I could just wear them when I'm doing things that give me eye fatigue and strain and give me headaches. Unfortunately, this means I'll have to wear them pretty much all the time, since reading, using a computer, driving (especially at night), watching TV, and sitting in buildings with flourescent light gives me headaches. And sometimes I get eye-headaches when I'm tired.

Fuckin' A. I can't fucking stand the way I look with glasses. I'm not a vain person, honestly. I just hate to make things worse, is all.

Hideous
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

* = The lady who made my glasses refused to adjust them right. She kept saying "Well, they look straight" in this tone of voice that implied I was just trying to make trouble. Then she'd push on the left nose pad a little (it needs to come in and the left lense needs to come up a bit), but she wouldn't do it hard enough to actually move it. Now most of the weight of the glasses is resting on the right side of my nose. The mark on that side of my nose is quite a fetching shade of neon pink.

Dude, Seriously. Seriously, Dude.

2005-06-25T17:17:00.000-06:00

Okay, so today I was flipping through the latest issue of Herbivore Magazine and came across an interview with a guy named Josh Harper. I nearly dropped the magazine in shock. This guy is the He-Bryski! Seriously, someone should alert Jess, because it looks like she's got a brother out there nobody told her about! Was she adopted? Did one of her parents run off and start another family? This is just weird. So, for comparison purposes, I swiped a pic of Jess from the Women's Action Network's Scrapbook page and scanned the pic of Josh Harper from the magazine:

Jess Bryski (with the fabulous Rachelle)

Josh Harper (aka the He-Bryski)

My mind is blown, yo.

A Super Special Blog Post Just For Brittany!

2005-06-24T00:27:00.001-06:00

Just because I love you so much, my little squid, I made this picture for you! Sweet dreams, little one!

BrittanyWookie
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Is it wrong that I'm so proud of this? I'm especially pleased with the way the spider gag turned out. I had to take it off of a woman who was in a completely different position than this Wookie, resize it, and stick it in there. I also had to create a pair of chaps out of one chap leg and a belt. And I did it all with MS Paint! Oh yeah. I'm hardcore, yo. I got mad photoshop skillz.

Cheap Interview Post Used To Disguise The Fact That I Don't Really Have Anything To Say At The Moment

2005-06-11T11:06:00.000-06:00

Here are The Official Interview Game Rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Questions from Linus

1) Where were you when MST3k aired its last episode?

I was right in front of my TV! It was three houses ago (four, if you count the one we're in the process of moving to now). It was on HWY 200, right outside of Sandpoint. It was a trailer on a big horse farm where we were caretakers. My mom and I sat in the livingroom laughing our asses off during the show and sniffling on the commercials. The movie that they played "Danger Diabolik" is the movie on which the Beastie Boys based their video for "Body Moving." I also think that Diabolik in his white costume looks a lot like Fantomex from the X-Men.

Bonus Trivia! - Diabolik comic books, callendars, and stuff are still being published. A disturbing number of the covers I found on Google have him scaring the bejezus out of women.

diabolik_3
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Also - When I did a Google search for pictures of Fantomex, it turned up this avatar of Danni from "The Tribe." It's always freaky when two of my obsessions converge for no apparent reason.

2) Pick one: chard or escarole?

Chard, I guess. I don't have any strong feelings either way.

3) Scientists say that humans may have evolved from apes, or possibly other extinct species. What do you think you evolved from?

Pfft, I don't know what those scientists are talking about. I didn't evolve from anything. I sprang forth fully grown, like Athena. Only replace Zeus with Freya, and there you go. I'm all kinds of special, don't you know.

4) I swallowed a quarter once. What have you swallowed?

Oh, dear. So, my old cat Pookie used to drool when she'd purr. She also liked sleeping on my chest or tummy or in the crook of my arm when I was laying down, and then purr until she fell asleep too. So, one afternoon I fell asleep on the couch in the living room, with my mouth wide open. Pookie, as usual, came up and curled up on my chest. Well, I must have been making a weird noise or something, because my mom says she was staring at my face and then she leaned over to sniff my nose and mouth. Unfortunately, she did that just as this huge drop of drool fell off her chin. Right into my mouth. It choked me awake. That was so nasty.

5) If you could go back and start school over, knowing what you know now, in what subject would you major?

Well, the choice of major for me wasn't a question of what I enjoy or what I want to do with my life, so much as it was a question of what subject I hated the least and trying to find something that wouldn't drive me to kill myself before I graduated. So, Women's Studies it is. I would never have taken any Psych classes, though, so I wouldn't have ended up with my Psych minor.

Completely Random Addition: I was reading the Something Awful forums earlier and a poster by the name of Doctor McNinja had this avatar. I laughed for a good 4 or 5 minutes. It's possible I need to get out more.

Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

"Why Can't People Understand, I've Got A Short Attention Span? Short Attention Span."

2005-06-07T17:05:00.000-06:00

1) I have both of the X-men/Star Trek comic crossovers and I have the first novel 'Planet X.' Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find me the name of, or better yet a link to, the second crossover novel. I must have it. As a Trekkie and a Marvel Zombie, I feel strangely incomplete without it.

2) Speaking of the X-men, remember back in February when our very own Pink Princess posted that flow chart of who's kissed and/or screwed who on Buffy? Well, I've got that one beat! Feast your eyes on the X-men Continuity Flow Chart, 1990-2000!

xmencontinuity1sd
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

To see a much bigger version, click here. Put your cursor over the picture and a button will appear in the lower left hand corner of the picture. Click it.

That's only the basics, too! Somewhere in there, they had both of the X-Men/Star Trek crossovers and a couple other things too. Dudes, I own most of these comics, and even I can't follow this chart!

3) I've developed this strange fascination with the song "Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do" by Goldie Lookin Chain. They're 8 white British guys. Funny weirdness.

4) If you can identify where the title of this post came from, I'll give you a cookie.

I've got the deep hurting....

2005-06-05T17:15:00.000-06:00

Little update:

My mom's "you won't have to do any moving stuff" resolution lasted almost a week. On Friday, she finally started making me do stuff to prepare for the upcoming move. So far, we've pretty much remodeled our entire house so we can sell it. Even though our house was really nice already and we're asking nearly $100,000 less than our nearest "competitors" and our house is way nicer than anything you can get for $139,000 around here. Today, I had to pack up all of the stuff I'd left in my room because I don't need to cart it to school with me, take it out to the garage, unpack about a third of the stuff I've brought back from school, and figure out a way to camouflage the other 20 or so boxes full of my comic books in a room with no closets. That was...interesting. Thank goodness there are some built in drawers in the wall. I had to move most of my clothes to the armoire in the basement, but at least any potential buyers won't know I'm a nerdy freak. For some reason, my mom seems to think this is important.

I never want to walk up another flight of stairs in my life. Unfortunately, this means I'll now have to live in the basement of this house, since that is where the computer I am typing on is currently located. I hurt all over.

Did you notice the dollar amount I mentioned above? Those of you who know me are probably surprised, since it's no secret I'm flat broke, always have been, and my family isn't much better off. My parents are asking (and will be getting, no question) $139,000 for our dinky little house in the armpit of Idaho. They bought it almost three years ago for $71,000. That is how crazy the housing market is right now. The Californians have discovered us and not only have prices gone through the roof, but they're selling houses as soon as they go on the market. The house my parents are buying is a little farm house on 10 acres outside of town somewhere. They're paying $180,000 for it. However, turns out the sellers just want to get the fuck out of here, so they're selling it for way less than what it's worth. That property actually appraised at $280,000. The best part of this is that they're starting to build a bridge across the river at the end of the road that leads to that farm. When they finish it early next spring, they're putting four $1,000,000 houses in that area. My parents' property value is set to triple. Yes, I've had to live on nothing but cheese sandwiches for a week straight in the recent past because I couldn't afford to buy groceries, but my parents' home will be worth nearly a million dollars.

My head hurts.

And, of course, I won't be living in this shiny new house, as I will be moving two more times this summer! Everytime I even think about that, I throw my head back and cry like Snoopy ("Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!").

In other, geekier news, I promised here are some pictures of things I'm getting for myself because I just got my last paycheck from the Science Library and I like being poor:

Mitchell
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

This is my new bag! I decided I needed a bigger one to carry around the laptop I got as a graduation present. So I went big and I went nerdy. Mitchell. Even his name says "Is that a beer?" *sings* Who's the puffy guy who's the big blurry sex machine? Mitchell! They say Mitchell is one bad mother-- Shut your mouth! I'm just talking 'bout Mitchell...

FilthyAssistant
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

And since I will be transfering my button collection to my new bag, I'm going to nerdy it up a little with a little Filthy Assistant action. Not that my button collection isn't already slightly nerdy, what with the "Phoenix Lives!" button (from back when she died the first time) and my piece of flair.

I've Been A Bad, Bad Girl

2005-05-29T17:30:00.000-06:00

Yes, it has been many, many days since my last update. I'm sorry. I have no excuse, I'm just lazy.

Things are better here than they were during my last update. I happened to come home during one of my grandmother's really bad spells. When she has a bad time, everyone has a bad time. Especially my mom. But she's going through a good spell now, so it's much more calm here. I can shower every day now and I don't have to lock my door at night. It's sort of stressful in its own way, though. Even though I call this a good spell, it's still hard. Gram still does weird and/or gross things and we're always aware that the next bad spell could begin at any moment. We're always on the lookout for any sign that it's about to hit, so we can take some steps to try to soften the blow. It's stressful.

It's also stressful because we're moving. Again. Yes, folks, that's right. I will be moving three times this summer. Once to our new house here in Idaho, once down to Laramie to finish out the rest of the summer, and once again to Ohio for grad school. This will take my Official Life-Long Moving Total up to 23. Yes, by the end of the summer, I will have moved 23 times in 23 years. Please kill me.

But, thankfully, it's not all bad. Princess Rainbow Terrorist is absolutely precious, even though she bites and scratches a lot. I know she's just playing, but I still look like a cutter thanks to her. Only about a month and a half to go until she can be declawed! Thankfully, she's very good about leaving me alone while I sleep, considering she stays in my room at night. When the lights go out, she goes right to sleep, every time. And when she knows I'm asleep, she leaves me alone, even if she's zooming all over the rest of the room. Once I'm up, I'm fair game, though.

Here she is "helping" me check my e-mail:

checkemail
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Being an adorable pain in the ass is tiring work! For such a little kitty, she sure gets heavy after a while. (Note: Dude, I look like I have no hair in this pic. Don't worry, I didn't cut it, it's just pinned back and the angle is weird here.)

naptime
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Also, I've been on a bit of a nerdy shopping spree lately. I'll update later everything I've gotten so you can all tremble before my mighty nerd powers, but so far the only thing that has arrived in the mail is my Lenore Lunchbox of Dooom. I'm so excited about this, I sometimes make my lunch, pack it in my Lunchbox of Dooom and take it into the living room to eat. As I'm sure most of you know by now, I also have a new Lenore "Fishies go pook pook pook!" t-shirt. Schweeeet!

lenorebox
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Well, that's about all that is happening here. I still can't wait to get back to Laramie. I'm trying to move up the departure date here, but that's not looking like it will happen. But no matter what, I'll be back by August 2nd, at the latest!

She Has Her Own Reality Show. Seriously.

2005-05-18T20:54:00.000-06:00

WhileOut
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

These Bonds Are Shackle Free, Wrapped In Lust And Lunacy

2005-05-13T17:27:00.000-06:00

Well, the most eventful part of my drive home has already been posted on Linus' blog, so I'll just say "Fuck Montana" and leave it at that.

Instead, I'm writing the mopey post I promised certain people. Okay, here it goes:

I should never have come back here. I should have just visited for a week or two, picked up my kitten, and then shacked up with one of you back in Laramie until it was time to go to OSU next fall. I know this makes me a bad daughter, but that's how I feel.

I've been back a little over 24 hours, and I'm already wallowing in abject misery. The cold and pink eye aside (by the way, Mary, if your doctor hasn't figured out that it is, in fact, pink eye, you need to find another doctor), my mother has started smoking inside again. She used to smoke outside, but not anymore. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, and so I'm itchy, my eyes burn, my throat is closing up and I can barely breathe.

My grandmother has gotten worse. Worse than she was at Christmas, even. Let's suffice it to say that I had to wait 6 hours to take a shower this morning and we have to install a lock on the inside of my bedroom door. I know my mother needs help and needs some time away from this mad house, but that doesn't make dealing with Gram any easier. Especially when she thinks she's in a nursing home and gets really hostile because she hates nursing homes.

Then there's my mother. Don't get me wrong, I love her a lot and she's thrilled to have me home. But she's still a mother. I just don't have the patience for constant mothering anymore. I made the mistake of telling her that Liz and I think I am anemic. Ever since then, she's been harping on me about it. When I went to the doctor today to get some meds for the pink eye, she told me to ask him about it, get some blood taken, and get perscription strength iron stuff. When I didn't do that, she yelled at me and muttered to herself that she should have gone with me to talk to the doctor. Because at 23 freaking years old, I can't possible make these decisions for myself. And this is just the beginning. Expect more rants in the future, after the novelty of having me home wears off.

But mostly, I'm upset that I'm separated from my friends. This is going to sound super pathetic, but this is the first time in my life that I've had real friends that I can count on. I'm not good at making friends, and up until now the friends that I had were either more like acquaintances or were incredibly fucked up. My best friend since junior high, Tina, was one of the latter. As much as I loved her (and still do), she was downright abusive some of the time. She had a lot of personal problems that she took out on me. I was lonely, weak, and in some warped way, I guess I thought I was helping her by letting her get her anger out. She's a lot better now, but of course, I don't live near her anymore :(

My sister Brook is awesome and hilarious, but she's much more conservative than me, and there's a lot I can't tell her for the same reason I can't tell my parents. She won't understand and she'll freak out. It's hard to hide large parts of yourself from someone you're close to.

Monika...well, those of you who know the Monika story know what a fucking mess that was.

Corey's a nice person, but I couldn't count on him. His substance use and depression issues were always a bigger part of his life. Also, I think if we'd stayed together much longer, bedroom issues would have eventually arisen.

And those are the only people I have ever been really close to. Ever. You guys in Laramie are not only fairly well adjusted, but I feel like I can count on you if I need help. It's the first time I've ever felt like I was any sort of a priority for my friends. It just really hurts to have left that behind. That's why I cried so much the day I left (sorry about that, by the way).

I hate it here and I want to come home.

At Least It's Not Snowing Anymore....

2005-05-12T17:53:00.000-06:00

I'm home in Idaho. More details when I regain consciousness.

Normally, I Don't Really Go In For Quizzes, But...

2005-05-05T14:23:00.000-06:00

...Dudes. It's about comic books. Which gritty no nonsense comic book character am I?

You are John Constantine.
John has a strong knowledge of the occult and at
times he appears to wield strong magical powers
but he has also become known as something of a
con-man, more likely to talk himself out of
trouble than pull a rabbit out of a hat.

What Gritty No Nonsense Comic Book Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I was hoping that if I got Spider Jerusalem, they'd throw in a pair of his glasses for free, but no such luck. We wants them, precious....

glasses
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Baby Pictures!

2005-05-03T13:09:00.000-06:00

So my mom finally got her digital camera working, so here are some pictures of Princess Rainbow Terrorist and poor long suffering Angel!

Rainbow1
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Rainbow2
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Rainbow4
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Rainbow3
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

Strange Days....

2005-04-30T18:37:00.000-06:00

So, the weird dreams seem to be contagious. I had a really weird one last night. This is what I get for hanging out with my friends, then reading some Transmetropolitan before going to bed.

It started out in a dark, icky warehouse somewhere in (I think) Fort Collins. Rev. Linus had decided to do the ministry thing for real and had started up a real live cult, which had become increasingly popular over the years. The government was super pissed and so was harassing them a lot, so Linus decided they needed to leave the US. He was making the announcement of where they were going to his followers in this warehouse. I wasn't a member of the cult, but I was there for the announcement for some reason. Linus was wearing this huge red dress-like thing and a comically large hat. Those were his cult clothes. He said that he refused to be a second-rate Jim Jones and so would not be setting up his town in the middle of a jungle in some other country. No, he was doing it bigger and better: They were going to a parallel dimension. Seriously. Then he unveiled the portal, which promptly crashed. While he and his techies were trying to get the damn thing back online, I decided to leave since I didn't fancy drinking poisoned Kool-Aid in some bizarre ass parallel world.

When I got outside the warehouse, I ran into Spider Jerusalem who asked me if I could help him out. He was looking for a one-eyed hooker for his friend's birthday party. Seriously. I said I didn't know any one-eyed hookers, but I'd seen an ad in the paper for a contest where the winner gets to poke a woman's eye out and asked if that might work for him instead. He said it would, then hailed a taxi. Then, his Filthy Assistants, Yelena and Channon, run up asking where the hell he went. I point at the cab as it disappears down the street. Yelena flat out refuses to get in a cab, saying that every time she does, she somehow accidentally ends up having sex with Spider (?!). Channon laughs and says next time she'll bring a camera.

Then I wake up. Weird, man.

I Ruin Everything I Touch

2005-04-25T12:34:00.000-06:00

I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I mean this literally. Things fall to pieces around me. I was talking to Linus about this the other day and he suggested I have an entropy field around me. I think he's right. Some examples:

My apartment:
The day after I moved in, my toilet broke. It'll still flush, but I have to lift up the tank lid every time and make sure the flapper covers the hole. I've had two repair people come in so far and they still haven't managed to fix it. I've got a third call in and he should come to fix it today, but I'm not holding my breath.

The second week I was in my apartment, two sticky spots showed up on my carpet. I have no idea where they came from. I didn't spill anything, I wasn't cooking, I didn't track anything in on my shoes, they just appeared. Huh.

The rod that adjusts the angle of my blinds snapped off.

The arm that opens my crank window came off the track while the window was wide open. I had to pry the screen off the widown, lean way out and fix the damn thing. Then the screen wouldn't go back in. It took a few days of whacking it with a hammer. I hope no one notices the dents.

My Computers: I've had three viruses which required that I wipe my entire hard drive and start over. I've blown out two monitors, one of which was quite spectacular. It caught fire with no warning one night. One time, every time I turned on the computer the mouse started jumping around the screen and programs kept opening and closing like crazy. I went out and bought a new computer, which promptly started doing the same thing. Turns out the mouse was broken. D'oh!

My TV/VCR/DVD Things: I've blown out a TV quite spectacularly as well. I bought a brand new DVD player that would get half way into a movie and freeze. I swapped it for another one that worked until the day after the warantee expired, then apparently began taking a lot of acid. My current VCR actually works pretty well, which is enough to make me suspicious.

My Diskman: So far, I've managed to keep my diskman in one piece, but it isn't even a year old yet. My earphones, however, disintigrate after a few months.

My Body: I'm 23 and I'm falling apart. My arms, my heart, my girly bits, my head, and various other bits of me aren't functioning up to code.

My Car: I'm sure most of you know all about my car, since you've been giving me rides because it's always fucking broken. This did not used to be the case. Oh, no. For the two years that it was my mom's car, it worked perfectly, even though she drove it hard. The minute I became the primary driver, it began rusting, it got hit in a parking lot, and parts began falling out of it left and right. I've spent over $3,000 on it in the last 2 1/2 years. In fact, just this morning I picked it up from the mechanic and, $100 later, it's still doing the exact same thing I took it in for.

And don't get me started on the car I had before this one. It was not nearly as bad as this one, but let's just say that "Reliant" is a bit of a misnomer.

My Blogger: I wrote this post once, and when I tried to post it, it disappeared. "Recover Post" only recovered half of it. ARGH.

Apparently, I Am Doomed To Have Cats With Dumb Names

2005-04-10T16:01:00.000-06:00

So, last night at 11:30, I managed to accidentally adopt a kitten three states away. Her name is Princess Rainbow Terrorist.

Okay, so this is how that happened:

A few years ago, my mom and her friends decided to start an no-kill animal rescue organization for our county because the local shelter was a kill shelter, and the local cops refused to enforce any animal welfare laws. So, they started this organization and it's become huge. Because they still don't have a central facility to house the animals, most of them are fostered by volunteers until they are adopted. We cannot foster animals. We always adopt them.

Anyway, last week some teenagers found a two-week old kitten who'd gotten separated from her mommy. They brought her to the Animal Rescue store (second hand and pet supply store they have to raise money for the organization) for help. Barbi, the lady who was in the process of closing up, looked out the front window and saw the teenagers and the kitten with a big rainbow across the sky. That's how she got the Rainbow part of her name. It was kinda late and Barbi couldn't find any foster people to take her right away. So, she called my mom, who, of course, said yes. Ever since then, she's been not-so-subtly trying to convince either me or my step-dad to agree to adopt her. My step-dad would have eventually agreed, because he's a big old softy, especially when it comes to animals, but my mom wore me down first.

So now I have a cat named Princess Rainbow Terrorist. The Princess comes from how spoiled she is already. We always spoil our animals, and since she is a cat it instills a sense of entitlement rather than a sense of gratitude. For instance, yesterday this kitten (who is smaller than my hand) kicked my grandmother out of her bed. The Terrorist part of her name comes from the fact that her favorite past time is terrorizing our American Eskimo, Angel. He's kinda high strung and anxious anyway and he's kinda freaked out by how small she is. She chases him around, sneaks up on him and jumps, runs up and bites his tail or leg, will suddenly puff up and hiss at him for no reason, and stuff like that. She's had to step up her tactics because he's slowly getting used to her. He won't run if she just calmly walks up to him anymore, which is good because sometimes she wants to cuddle with him. So when she wants to play, she'll trick him by calmly walking up to him and then suddenly puffing up and hissing or jumping off of the couch down onto him when he's trying to nap.

Pictures are forthcoming, of course.

And now for something completely different....

My Unitarian
Jihad Name is: Sister Machine Gun of Desirable Mindfulness.

Get yours.

In Kitty Pryde and Wolverine #4, Wolverine Tells The Following Story:

2005-04-04T10:18:00.000-06:00

"There's a story people tell of the greatest swordsman in Japanese history, Miyamoto Musashi, of how one fine morning, in those younger days when he still wore steel instead of wooden swords, he came to a bridge only to find his path blocked by another samurai.
'The way, honored sir, is wide enough only for one. It is only fitting htat the lesser man step aside to let the better one pass.'
'Agreed, my friend. If you would be so kind as to do so, I shall be on my way.'
'It appears we have a difference of opinion...'
'...That only our blades can settle.'
Ogun threw down the gauntlet and as one, with blinding speed, two gleaming katanas leapt from their lacquered scabbards. For one minute, the men stood poised, their eyes locked...and then...they sheathed their steel, bowed, and went their separate ways, never to cross paths again.

A few nights ago, I was talking with the Good Rever--er, I mean Bad Reverend Linus about our Nerd Quotient competition. We came to the conclusion that we are Nerd Samurai and, like the Samurai in the story above, we can acknowledge that we are equally matched without resorting to violence (or endless rounds of blog posts, as the case may be). So, we've decided to bow and sheathe our swords.

See, I was confident that I could find something to out-weird the Prince of Tennis/Matrix crossover he found (I seem to remember something about a Catholicism/anime crossover out there somewhere), but then he threatened to break out the Spock/Kirk hentai, which they apparently publish professionally in Japan. However, I felt this was too far into the realm of fanfic and if we were going to open this competition up to fanfic, it could go on forever. I was tempted to mention some of the nerdy, weird, and/or downright scary stuff I've come across (mostly a result of hanging out at godawful.net), but I decided I would rather go home and go to bed than stay up until 3 am talking about all of the crazy shit out there. Hey, I had to get up early for work the next day, what can I say? Besides, if I'd mentioned anything about the infamous Celebrian fic, I might never have slept again.

Once Again I Have Beaten The Black Pope Into Submission (You Know You Like It, Linus)

2005-04-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

So, on Linus' blog I was challenged to find a comic book crossover weirder than the Pirates of the Caribbean/Nightmare Before Christmas one he found. Lo, I have discovered just such a thing.

Archie Meets The Punisher. Yeah, you heard me. I think this may just be even weirder than the X-men/Star Trek ones I found that started this whole thing. Basically, Frank Castle chases an evil, evil villain who happens to look just like Archie all the way to Riverdale. Wacky hijinx ensue. They actually have a copy of this at The Grounds, if you want to read it.

Bow down before my supreme nerdiness!

The Cover:

Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

The Water Tastes Like Burning

2005-03-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

So, as most of you know, I was in Columbus, Ohio from sunday through tuesday visiting the Ohio State University women's studies grad program. I forgot how nasty the tap water is there. I need to invest in a Brita water filter or something. Anyway, the professors are great, the program looks really awesome, and the students I will be studying with are really cool people (especially Arcenia, who not only recognized my Thor's Hammer right off, but is also a Pagan herself). I'm dreading the next two years a whole lot less than I was before I left. I'm still tired and want to be done with school, but if I have to go for two more years, I could do a lot worse than OSU.

The guy who drove the shuttle van that took me from the hotel to the airport on Tuesday said something that made me think. We were talking about all of the places I'd lived (Ohio, then Wyoming, then Idaho, back to Wyoming for school, and now back to Ohio) and he said something like "So you've come full circle!" Well, that's not exactly how I see it. I hadn't realized it until he said that, but I'd been subconsciously thinking of this whole situation as indicitive of my inability to escape. I'm stuck in a rut. I fucking hated Wyoming the first time I was here, and I tried to escape, but it sucked me right back here. Now the same thing is happening with Ohio. I keep trying to tell myself that my life situation is so much different now than it was when I left at 13 (for example, I'm not stuck in the middle of parental drama), but deep down I just don't believe it. I kinda feel like a failure.

And now, for something completely different....

Mulder, The Hands of Fate!

Mulder1
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

I Love You, But Not Enough To Stop Eating.

2005-03-26T13:15:00.000-07:00

I should have been asleep at 2 a.m. this morning, but I wasn't. Why wasn't I? Because, as usual, my brain wouldn't shut up. I very rarely think of anything important at times like these. Last night, I was making a grocery list that I won't need until after I get back from my OSU visit, making a list of things I need to do before I move out of my apartment at the end of the semester, and trying to remember all of the words to a Sesame Street song called "Up and Down."

I also thought a bit about the Baha'i fast. I know at least two people read my blog who aren't a part of my every day community here in Laramie, so I'll explain a bit. Everyone else skip to the next paragraph. A few of my friends are Baha'is. Recently, they had a fast which lasted something like 19 days where they couldn't eat or drink from sun up to sundown. Most of our group of friends got up at the ass crack of dawn at one point or another (and often more than once) to have breakfast with them as a show of support.

I was thinking about how much I liked that. Not the actual getting up at 5 am (or at 4:30 the day that I cooked breakfast) and not being able to fall back asleep afterward part. I liked the feeling close to my friends part. During the day, people would ask me why I was falling asleep, and I would tell them all about my friends' fast and how cool my other friends were for supporting them like that. They'd all look at me like I was crazy and say things like "Wow, you must really like your friends!" I'd just smile cuz, yeah, I really do like my friends. I wouldn't do something like that for just anybody, but Rachel and Ben are awesome. And my other friends are awesome too, so hanging out with them any time is great. I actually looked forward to breakfasts at 5:30 am. There was a calm (even with Brittany!) and cozy atmosphere that was really nice. Tessa's blue corn pancakes were also very nice (note to self: get that recipe). I was actually kind of sad when I got sick and couldn't handle getting up that early or moving around too much.

I'm glad the fast isn't an everyday thing, but I'm also glad that I took part in a little piece of it.

Okay, Professor X. You Can Come Pick Me Up Any Day Now.

2005-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

I knew it! I am a superhero!

Check me out!

SuperheroGirl
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

My powers are as follows: I always know which questions are going to be the Daily Double on Jeopardy about a second before the player chooses them, I know who's on the phone before I pick it up if I've met them before (no, I don't have caller ID), I can store vast amounts of static electricity in my body (pictured above) and release it in one violent jolt. My companion is the spirit of my dead cat Pookie. She's badass, yo.

Welcome To The FT, Bitch.

2005-03-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sure y'all have heard me complain about the Fametracker boards shutting down, but all is not lost! There are several very good alternatives popping up (such as this one). Several people have saved entire threads from the old FT boards, too. The best one ever has to be the Jesus thread. Go. Right now. Especially you, Linus.

Some choice quotes:

"Biggest.Famewhore.Ever" - MiceNow

"And I liked how they left the ending kinda open for a sequel." - Caged Rage

"I'm so sick of Jesus being shoved down my throat all the time. Every time I go to church or open my bible, or even listen to Christian radio, I hear about Jesus and how great he is. I can't take it anymore! What a famewhore." - riotgirl7284

"The only reason he is famous is because of his dad." - biakbiak

"Where have you guys been? He was already replaced by Clay Aiken." - Kaylee

"I read an interview with him once where he said 'I am the way, the truth, and the life.' How self-centred can you be?" - Janie Jones

"Then, like the servers don't have enough to do, they fucking take a bowl of water and he starts washing their feet!!!! Hellooooo, we have health codes for a reason!" - Altoids Addict

"...not dead?" - Katie Girl

People With Alzheimer's Say The Funniest Things!

2005-03-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

In the kitchen: [irritated] "So, we're just supposed to sit on the shelf until they give us directions, then?"

In the living room: "All people have the same kinds of thoughts, but when they go too far from home, other people just don't know."

To the dog: "You can count to twelve, right?"

In January: "Happy Easter!"

In the living room: "I need to sniff some mustard. If I can just get a bit of it down into my lung, it'll attack the germ and everything will be alright."

After dinner: "You can't touch these [empty dishes]. I'm running a scientific experiment."

To her granddaughter: "Hi, my name's Peggy. What's yours?"

About a half-used tube of toothpaste: "They called in that favor, so if the man shows up, just give him this."

See, This Is Why I Don't Have Internet At Home

2005-03-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

I spend all my time messing around with stupid shit instead of doing my homework. F'rinstance, over the summer my comic book addiction began to take up more and more of my time. As a result, I spent an unholy amount of time doing google searches looking for fansites for minor X-men characters. One of my favorite sites actually turned out to be a hate site.

Once upon a time, back in 1986, Marvel, swept by a wave of nostalgia, decided to reassemble the original X-men team (Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Iceman, Angel, and Beast). To do this, they brought Jean back from the dead and gave the team their own title. They even de-furred Beast for a while. Several years later, of course, came the genius Peter David run (with an all new team). Hilarious, that was. The third team change was most people's least favorite, but I liked it. Mystique was there. But anyway, back to the topic at hand.

For a few issues, Iceman had a girlfriend named Opal Tanaka. I thought she was cute. Obviously, the ladies at B.U.C.K.S.H.O.T. did not agree. It contains all silly stuff you'd expect to find on a website devoted to hating such a minor character.

The most hysterical thing of all, is the "Who Fathered Opal's Baby?" feature where they go around interviewing a bunch of different Iceman action figures. Hysterical!

bighands2
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

And then there's the hilarious "Bad Ex Game" between Iceman, Cyclops, Gambit, and Havok:

" And the more I thought about it, the more I realised how ridiculously bad Bobby's track record with women really has been. I mean, it's not like he's the only x-guy to fall for a few losers, but -- he's so, so _consistent_. And he does it on such a grand scale! There should be a - a _competition_ or something, just so he can get some kind of prize to make up for his complete and utter failure to ever date anyone worth spending five minutes on. He'd win first place _and_ second place.
Even if Scott played.
Actually, Bobby could win by such a large margin, he could _toy_ with them. Offer his exes in reverse order of crapness, so they think he's got nothing --
Bobby: Well, gee. This is hard. Let me think... crap ex-girlfriends, crap ex-girlfriends... I guess there was Lorna. She dumped me for Alex.
Scott: Madelyne. Do I have to mention what she did with Alex?
Remy: An' Rogue dumped _me_ in _Antarctica_.
Bobby: Darn. Guess I lose that round... Well, I suppose Judy was kinda mean. She had me lynched.
Alex: Scarlett. Had me shot, drugged, and brainwashed.
Bobby: Well, there was Infectia... she tried to kill me. Does that count?
Remy: Eh. Dat's nothin'. .Belladonna tries to kill me every time she sees me.
Scott: Ditto Maddie.
Alex: Ditto Maddie.
Bobby: Umm... gosh... Cloud? She turned into a boy, then a living nebula. That kinda sucked.
Remy: Cat. She turned into a nun.
Scott: Does a nun beat a nebula?
Alex: Yeah. Nuns are the worst.
Bobby: Okay, fine... hmm... How about Marge?
Alex: I don't think I ever heard about Marge.
Bobby: Oh, well, Marge was the daughter of Oblivion. He was, like, a supernatural entity or something. The personification of an abstract concept. I dunno. Oblivion. Nothingness. The Great Big Void at the centre of the universe.
Remy: And you... dated his daughter.
Bobby: Yeah, well. Briefly. Then she left me for her dad.
Alex: Oh. I'm assuming you don't mean that as in --
Bobby: Yes, yes I do.
Alex: ... Scott, you wanna take this one?
Scott: Dark Phoenix. Eater of Planets. Destroyer of Worlds.
Bobby:... call it a draw?
Scott: Fair enough.
Alex: So I guess that means --
Bobby: I have one left.
Alex: ... Right. Okay...
Bobby: Opal.
Scott: Well, Opal wasn't really that bad --
Bobby: And her immense pants.
Scott: ... okay. Bobby wins."
--Poi

Discoridanism: Not Just For Amusing Your Friends!

2005-03-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

This Is My Life, And It's Ending One Minute At A Time.

2005-03-02T11:22:00.000-07:00

Tuesday March 1, 2005

12:13 am - Decide to quit doing homework and go to bed early. Socializing takes it out of me and I'm exhausted after this weekend.

2 am-ish - Finally get to sleep. My brain just won't shut up lately. Tonight, I was stressing over my final research paper for Gender and Religion. It's got to be 15-20 pages and at this point I'm so thoroughly apathetic about everything, I've been having trouble even writing 2-page response papers. The last one I wrote was so half assed, I wouldn't be surprised if Quincy won't accept it.

6:47 am - Wake up for no reason. Desperately trying to get back to sleep. End up staring at the sheet I pulled over my head to block out light.

8 am - I give up and get out of bed and get cleaned up.

8:30 am - Eat a bagel and read the final issue of Excalibur (an X-men comic). *sniff* Meggan and Brian got married, Douglock got amnesia, and Kitty, Kurt, and Piotr decided to go back to America to rejoin the X-men. Sad. I liked Excalibur, even if it tends to be the red headed stepchild of the X-Universe.

9:05 am - Rode the bus to campus. Listened to the Red Hot Chili Peppers on my diskman. I want to be Flea when I grow up. Only prettier.

9:35 am - Gender and American Religion class. Talked about the Men and Religion Forward Movement. Was somewhat annoyed by the article we read about it. The author kept trying to insist that gender itself really didn't have much to do with it. I totally believe that the economic and social changes she describes contributed a great deal to it, but considering the changes in gender roles going on at the time, I fail to see how gender itself could not have played a big part as well.

10:53 am - I tease Nerdy Girl about always running out of class without me. She responds by threatening to withhold her rope. Note to self: Don't tease Nerdy Girl about her bladder capacity.

10:58 am - Advised two students in my Intro to Women's Studies class (I'm the TA) about their upcoming media projects. Ooh, I feel all teacherly.

11 am - 12:15 pm - Wow, that's a great big blank spot. I can't remember anything from class. Yikes.

12:18 pm - Went to Ross Hall computer lab to print out syllabus for my Intro class. Annie was supposed to get me a copy a long ass time ago (I had to give my copy to a student the first day), but I guess she forgot. I needed it so I could look at the journal entry guidelines so I could slap a grade on the journals they handed in 2 WEEKS AGO. I finished reading and commenting on them over a week ago, but have been waiting on some kind of key from Annie. I give up.

12:30 pm - WAN meeting. Guerilla Girls might agree to come here anyway, even though we don't have all the money.

1-5 pm - Wow, another blur. I was at work at the Science Library, my boss seemed like everything was fine and there were no angry patrons on the other side of the counter, so I must have been doing my job. Hell if I can remember it, though.

5:08 pm - Caught the bus in front of the Classroom Building. Listened to RHCP again.

5:27-6 pm - Watched Law and Order: SVU until it was time to leave for my next class. Read an X-Force comic during the commercials. Will Roberto be deported back to Brazil? Will Dani defeat the crazy weird immortals with her spiffy new blue powers? Keep reading, True Believer!

6:03 pm - Scraped the ice and snow off my car. Of course it snowed today. It always fucking snows on Tuesdays.

6:30 pm - Quincy is sitting in on my Film and Religion class again. I really like her, even if she is a Calvinist.

6:50 pm - So, the film we're watching is called The Apostle. Robert Duvall is a Pentecostal preacher. This film is fucking terrifying. There are huge long scenes of people yelling things like "Praise!" and "Glory!" and "JESUS!!!!" (yes, they yell in capital letters with excessive punctuation). I feel like they're trying to brainwash me. I'm scared. If I start displaying monotheistic tendencies, please kidnap me and send me to a cult deprograming center.

9:32 pm - When discussing how Robert Duvall killed another character, Bob Torry (in true Pentecostal preacher fashion) shouted "Can I get a manslaughter!" to which the class responded "Manslaughter!" and "Amen!"

10:31 pm - I got 100% on my midterm, after adding in my extra credit. Sweeeet.

10:52 pm - Yes, Roberto went with the INS agents to get sent back to Brazil, but Domino smells something fishy. Before she can begin to investigate, though, a package arrives for Sam from the yet-to-be-destroyed mutant nation of Genosha. This other crazy weird immortal helps Dani tap into her new blue power again and she defeats the first two crazy immortals.

10:57 pm - Finish slapping grades on the journals for my intro class. Decide to go to bed early, so I can get up at 5 am to go to breakfast at Tessa's. Rachel and Ben should feel special. I don't drag my ass up out of bed that early for just anybody. If I stay up all night, that's totally different, but interrupting sleep at such an obscene hour just does not happen. I love you guys. (Note: Ben didn't even show up. Bad Ben! No cookie!)

11:59 pm - Yeah, I'm still awake.

Goodnight, John Boy.

Filthy Dream Update: Well, it started with a scary nightmare about being trapped in a Pentecostal-ish church, with people shouting weird things I couldn't understand (talking in tongues, maybe?). I kept trying to get out, but I couldn't find the door. That's what I get for going to bed so soon after I get home from Film and Religion. But then that dream cut off abruptly, af if someone (gee, I wonder who) had flipped a switch. In its place was a much, much more pleasant dream involving Wolverine (movie version), torn clothing, and the back of his pickup-camper from the first movie.

"A Sermon On Ethics And Love"

2005-02-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

My favorite bit from the Principia Discordia is A Sermon on Ethics and Love. Here, reprinted entirely without permission, is said sermon:

One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?

"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"

WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.

"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?

"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."

OH. WELL, THEN STOP.

At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.

Fnord!

And Yet, I Just Can't Seem To Care....

2005-02-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

So, I'm finding it more and more difficult to give a shit about anything. What's especially worrying is I'm finding it more and more difficult to care about things that used to mean a great deal to me. For example, I'm completely unmotivated to engage with feminism like I used to. I'm the TA for an Intro to Women's Studies class and I've been grading a bunch of journal entries lately. A few years ago, if I'd read the things in these journals ("I think, deep down, women really like being treated as sex objects" "It's okay to treat men better than women because God made us different") I would have been apoplectic. Now, I was irritated, sure, but not like I would have been. And I couldn't keep up that irritation for more than a few hours at a time.

I don't want to read about feminism anymore.
I don't want to talk about feminism anymore.
I don't want to go tree-sit anymore.
I don't want to march on Washington anymore.
I don't want to write letters to the editor anymore.
I don't want to debate with anybody anymore about anything.
I don't want to hear other people's opinions anymore.
I don't even want to hear my own opinions anymore.

I. Just. Don't. Care.

Filthy Dream Update:
Last night featured John Constantine (well, Keanu Constantine, anyway). He has more tattoos than the ones you saw in the film.

I Hear West Virginia Is Nice This Time Of Year....

2005-02-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

...or "Adventures With Alzheimers 2: Electric Boogaloo."

Yes, it's that time again kids! You get a peek into the wacky hijinx that fill your life when someone you love has Alzheimers!

On Monday my mom called. I noticed that she had a southern accent. Now, my mom lived in West Virginia until she was 13, so when her southern accent comes out, she's nearly incomprehensible. However, it only comes out when someone around her has a southern accent. So, naturally, I asked why she was southern. Apparently, my grandmother thinks she still lives in West Virginia (and so her accent came out). She thinks she's on vacation. Then someone knocked on the door, so my mom let me talk to my grandmother while she took care of it. My grandmother forgot who I was and why she was talking to me repeatedly. She also recommended that I visit West Virginia some time. It's very nice this time of year, according to her (I don't know what time of year she thinks it is, though). I'm sure you'll be glad to hear that the people at "this resort" are very nice and helpful. So, if you're ever in Idaho, go stay at Chez Raksha's Mom. My grandmother gives it a 4 star review.

Our house also doubles for a lot of other places too. Sometimes it's a nursing home, "which really needs to hire more nurses because just these three aren't enough." Once it was a hospital after the car my grandmother was in blew up. She had to be brought in on a stretcher and she demanded to see her charts. Another time, our house even managed to bi-locate and become my aunt's house in Ohio. Sometimes, we also have two second floors. Other times, one second floor moves downstairs and becomes a second basement. It only does that when you're trying to get at construction materials or wrapping paper you've stored away, though. It's very annoying.

I never knew one little cape cod could be so versatile!

Manos:

2005-02-13T16:13:00.000-07:00

The Hands of Fate!

I Want Some Of Whatever He Was On.

2005-02-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

So, you've all seen Leonard Nemoy's "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins", right? I think this may just be my favorite music video of all time.

Just Don't Let The Power Go To Your Head.

2005-02-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get the need to force everyone around you to bow to your will? I know I do. Unfortunately, that's often illegal and some would argue unethical, so thankfully, there is the Subservient Chicken!

Let's Hope They Learned From The Original And Skip The Two Suck-tastic Sequels.

2005-02-06T16:01:00.000-07:00

Since we're on the subject of vegetarianism, take the red pill.

Exposing My Emotional Scars For Your Amusement

2005-02-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

My mom sent me some pictures in the mail the other day. A lot of them are really old and among them are two photos of the reasons I am a vegetarian. So, let us cast our minds back to late 1998 when I was 17 and the world was consumed by Y2K paranoia....

Moo1
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

This is Moo.

He got his name because of apples. We had an apple tree right at the corner of our backyard and the fence around the pasture where the cows lived. We would go out during the afternoons and throw apples from the ground on the backyard side of the fence across to the cows or the horses, whoever happened to be around. Moo would get so excited by the prospect of apples that he would start mooing loudly and pacing back and forth by the fence. He would lick your hand whenever he could. He was also pretty shy. He would come up to us, because he knew us, but he would run from strangers.

Cow2
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

This is Cow.

He got his name because it went well with "Moo." He was more outgoing than Moo. If you called his name, he would come running. He liked to play with the barn cats and he loved to have his ears and forehead rubbed.

When our landlord first brought them to us to take care of, I knew there was no way I could keep from getting attached. However, I figured they'd take them a half a mile down the highway to McGee's (a small-scale slaughter and taxidermy business) and I'd be sad, but I would be okay. At this time, I was working at Burger King (aka the 7th Circle of Hell). One day, I was getting ready to leave for work when I heard "MOOO! MOOOO!" and then a loud bang. Our landlord had decided to put an end to the cows in our own backyard. I freaked out. I ran for my car, but as I was backing up, I had to look back to make sure I didn't run into this tree in our driveway, and I looked back right when they shot the other one. The image of Moo on the ground and Cow being shot in the head is forever burned into my mind.

I cried all the way to work. I cried at work as I served Moo and Cow's relatives to annoying people in the form of Whoppers. All of the walls in my mind between my food and my animal friends had crumbled into dust. I haven't touched meat since that day.

This Was Posted on Feb. 1. Really. No, Really!

2005-02-02T11:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Charming of the Plow all! Now, go. Charm some plows!

Dammit, I Hate Thinking About Class Stuff Outside of Class

2005-01-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

But, I just can't help it this time. For our Gender and American religion class, the Nerdy Girl and I have to read a book about Spiritualism in the 1800s. It's a fascinating book. I was really struck by all of the similarities between Spiritualism and modern Paganism. The intense individualism, emphasis on progressive movements and social reform, and aversion to power structures and permanent buildings and all that. They even used the term "Summerland" for the afterlife.

So, all of these similarities seriously disturbed me. How many 19th century style Spiritualists do you know? None! It's gone, yo! And they had a lot more members and influence than modern Pagans. How do we keep our community from dying out the same way? What happened to the Spiritualists that we should guard against? Why is it that such hard, restricting, and often hurtful power structures keep coming back, while movements like Spiritualism with the potential for an improved quality of life go the way of the dodo?

I have no answers. Not now. How can I? I can't even remember what day it is.

WARNING! Have Brain Bleach Handy.

2005-01-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder what Milton from Office Space would look like in a unitard? Yeah, me neither, but here's Jay Maynard's TRON costume, anyway.

I feel kinda bad making fun of the guy, but he's got to know, right? RIGHT??

In The Immortal Words of Katina Choovanski...

2005-01-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

"At what point did I become a complete idiot with absolutely no pride whatsoever??"

I used to strike a bizarre ballance between being a covert control freak (over myself only, of course, otherwise it wouldn't be covert) and a mindless piece of fluff blown about on the winds of others' whims. Lately, that ballance has been upset. Or rather my (in)action has upset that ballance. I've very slowly given up the more useful aspects of the control freak, only keeping those with no practical value whatsoever (like getting irritated when my mom tells me she vacuumed in my old room because I know that means she was near my stuff). This has happened so slowly that I've only really noticed it now that it's reached a crisis point of sorts. I'm stuck and I don't know how to get unstuck.

I am so fucking stupid. How could I have let myself get to this point? Why the hell can't I just pay attention?

The New Grinch Movie Sucks 18 Kinds of Ass

2005-01-19T14:24:00.000-07:00

So in my film and religion class last night, we watched both of the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas" movies. I really like the original animated movie, despite not being a Christian myself. The new live-action version of the movie, however, can spin off into a void never to be seen or heard from again, for all I care.

It was just all wrong. Never mind that they added a whole bunch of crap onto the front of the movie to pad it into a feature-length movie (they didn't get to the events of the original text until about 2/3 of the way through the movie). It was just all wrong. Five minutes in, the Whos were engaging in an orgy of consumerism, throwing money at cash registers and carrying piles of boxes bigger than themselves. Little Cindy Lou Who asked her dad if all of this didn't seem to be a bit much, to which he replied "But that's what Christmas is all about!"

That was it, I was done with this POS.

I don't care that the Whos finally realized their mistake in the last 10 minutes of the movie. The entire point of the original story was that they never lost focus of the real meaning of Christmas in the first place. Sure, they did all the other stuff with the decorating, and the presents, and the feasting, but they knew that those things were really unneccessary. In this movie, the Whos are assholes and the Grinch is actually the voice of anti-commercialism. Crap! All crap!

Also, the way women in the movie looked pissed me off. All of the people in the movie looked funky. They were supposed to be Dr. Seuss drawings brought to life, so they had funky Seuss-ian noses. All of the men that the audience was supposed to like and identify with/root for looked Seuss-ian. However, the only two women in the movie who the audience was supposed to like and identify with [Cindy Lou and Martha May (the Grinch's love interest, of all things)] looked like regular women (or girls, in Cindy's case). It was okay that the men looked funny, but the women had to conform to our culture's stupid ass beauty standards in order to be good enough for the audience.

You can accuse me of being too sensitive if you want. You can also kiss my ass, because I'm in a really, really bad mood thanks to this stupid movie.

Other People's Conversations

2005-01-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

Overheard on my plane during an unusually long taxi to the runway:

"Apparently, we're going to drive to Denver."

Adventures With Alzheimer's

2005-01-07T22:52:00.000-07:00

Just a quick disclaimer before we begin: I really do love my grandmother. She's a wonderful woman and I'm very sad that she will never be the same person she was when I was younger. However tragic the degenerative effects of Alzheimer's may be, though, sometimes they can lead to some very funny situations. If you can't laugh at times like these, the bad times will tear you down even quicker.

Now, on with the show:

About a year and a half ago, my grandmother moved from Ohio to live with my mom and step-dad here in Idaho because she couldn't take care of herself anymore. Here are some of the dimentia-induced highlights:

1. The first day she was here, she introduced herself to me 4 times in one hour. My aunt Dinah was the one who brough Gram out here from Ohio, so my mom took the opportunity to show her around our town (which is actually quite lovely). I stayed with Gram while they were out. When I made her toast and tea for an afternoon snack, she tried to give me a tip.

2. One morning Gram came out into the living room dressed in a summer dress over pajama bottoms with rubber boots on and tried to sneak out the front door without my mom (who, at the time, was in the kitchen, which is just off the living room) noticing. Thankfully, mom saw her and stopped her before she went wandering off. Gram said she had written a Broadway play and was going down to the store get a copy of the New York Times to read their review of it. She was really worried about what they thought of it. In a situation like this, there's not really much you can do. Mom just reassured her that she had always been a good writer (which is true, actually) and said she was sure the New York Times critic liked it. Then she offered to get a copy of the paper when she went to the grocery store later that day. She was hoping that Gram would forget about it by then. She was right!

3. Sometime during the first week of January 2004, she came out of her room one morning and proclaimed brightly, "Happy Easter!" When I tried to explain to her that it was January and that Easter was some time off still, she just nodded and smiled politely. She never believes a word I say. When mom came home from wherever she had gone that morning, Gram wished her a happy Easter too. When mom explained that it wasn't Easter yet, Gram immediately believed her. *facepalm*

4. Over the summer, I'd been having a lot of trouble with insomnia. It wasn't helping that I was having to get up pretty early for my job at the public library in Sandpoint. One night, I finally got to sleep, only to be woken up moments later by Gram turning her TV up as loud as it would go. She's legally blind, so she's got a lot of problems distinguishing the channel changing buttons from the volume controling buttons. That wouldn't be such a problem if she'd just turn the TV right back down once she realizes she's got the wrong buttons, but she just leaves it cranked up like that. We live in a Cape Cod style house, and the entire half-story upstairs is my bedroom. My bed happens to be directly above her television. I shoot up out of bed and go down to ask her to turn it down. She does, and I go back to bed. I finally start nodding off again and she cranks it back up! I go down again to ask her to turn it down, only to find that she has locked her bedroom door. She shouted that she wouldn't open the door because I was a stranger and that if I didn't leave she would call the cops. I had to wake my mom up.

5. Another night that summer, I'd finally managed to nod off in the wee hours of the morning, only to have Gram open my door and call up the stairs: "Grandma?! Grandma?!" I get up, and go downstairs and ask her what's going on. She says "Have you seen my grandma? She was just here and now I can't find her!" I try to explain to her that the only people who live here are my mom, step-dad, and me (I just didn't have the heart to tell her that her grandmother has been dead for decades). She smiles and nods, because she never, ever believes me, and continues looking for her grandmother, even checking behind my step-dad's Lazy Boy in the living room. Finally, when Gram starts yanking on the front door (which we close with a padlock at nights, so she can't go wandering off) to go look outside, the noise of me trying to convince her to go back to bed wakes my mom up. Mom comes out and explains that Gram's grandmother isn't here and she must have just had a vivid dream. Gram readily agrees, and goes back to bed. *double facepalm*

6. Gram fell asleep during M*A*S*H. She wakes up, and wanders into the livingroom and grabs the phone off the end table. She turns it on and dials some random numbers. My mom asks her who she's calling. Gram explains that she's trying to call the Army because she'll get in trouble if they find out she's off base without permission. Have I mentioned that my Gram is 86 and has never been in the Army?

It's never dull at my house, that's for sure.

Heart Update:
Well, I thought I should probably update y'all on my heart thing. I went to the doctor the other day. He listened to my heart, took my BP, hooked me up to a EKG and all that. Basically, I just need to calm the fuck down. It's stress, just like my mom said it was. Or rather, it was due to me de-stressing. I finally de-toxed a little, so my heart was adjusting. The doc gave me an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant to calm me down. Unfortunately, it made me violently ill. I do not have a good track record with anti-depressants. However, since Expedia totally screwed me over with regards to my flight home (switching my flight at the last minute so I'll be arriving in DIA an hour after my shuttle to Laramie leaves), my stress levels shot right back up to normal, so my heart isn't doing that fluttery thing anymore.*

* = Thank you thank you thank you I love you Abra for coming to get my sorry ass tomorrow.

Current Mood: Plane-phobic
Current Music: "Organic Anti-Beat Box Band" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

Non-Porn Ate My Soul

2005-01-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been trying to keep myself busy so I don't begin to dwell on my impending airplane trip, so I've been playing some fun web games. These two are the best.

It Really Isn't Porn. Honest:
When I first discovered ThisIsNotPorn.com many moons ago, I ended up playing it for almost 9 hours straight. I gave myself a headache. Luckily, I remembered to write down the answers to each subsequent puzzle, and how I figured it out. Unfortunately, that cheat sheet is in my closet back in my apartment, so I've been muddling through again as best I can.

The point of ThisIsNotPorn is...well, there is no point. But it's fun. Each page is a puzzle. It contains clues to help you solve it. Solving the puzzle means finding out how to get to the next page. Sometimes this is done by clicking on a specific part of the screen, sometimes it's figuring out a username/password combination, and sometimes it's adding the right word to the URL on the address bar. Sometimes, there are several ways off a page and if you don't take them in the right order, you'll end up going in circles. It's fascinating.

To get started, click on the link above, then click on the oven door. For this game, it helps (but isn't necessary) if you have an online English-Dutch translator open in another window. It also helps to have a program that can translate ASCII text. To do this, just open Word Notepad, hold down the Alt key and type in one of the three-number codes using the number pad on the right side of the keyboard. Then let go of the Alt key, and magically, the letters appear!

For those spoiler whores among you, I managed to find a series of posts I made on Fametracker when we were talking about this game. These are the answers to several of the first puzzles. I'm going to put it in Spoiler Text for those who don't want to know the answers, so just drag your mouse and highlight the text to read it:

1. If you highlight the entire page, you'll find some weird code thing. I'm not sure what kind of code it is, but apparently it translates into something referring to the legend of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot (someone on Fametracker posted this answer, so I didn't have to figure it out for myself). Click on "Asia Awaits." You'll get a pop up that says "HeWhoRulesByTheSword" and asks you for a username/password combination. It's Alexander/Gordian. It'll take you to the next page.

2. The voice that reads off the NATO phonetic alphabet is creepy as hell, but not relevent to this particular puzzle. If you click the mouse on the picture of the truck, you'll get a pop up that says something that translates as "The Boy Will Die Alone." There is hidden ASCII text underneath the picture which you can see if you drag your mouse over it. There is also ASCII text on the title bar. When translated, it's a bunch of words in Dutch that refer to a place where a boy disappeared and the answer being the old name of that place. That's a reference to the old folk tale of Hans Brinker and the Zuiderzee river. The old name for the Zuiderzee is IJsselmeer. Since there is no pop up box, or link to click on, the only logical way to get out of there is to type in a new URL, which is what you have to do. Just type "IJsselmeer" into the URL after the "/see/" part to go to the next page.

3. If you move the mouse over the bottom right hand corner of the sign, a blank pop up appears. This is to cue you in to something hidden right there on the sign. It says "Edith Head." She was a famous Hollywood costume designer. If you click on the sign, you get a pop up that says "WhatALovelyDrapeTheyMake," which I think referrs to fabric, and the username/password combination is Edith/Head.

4. The next one is pretty easy. The letters at the bottom of the screen are a reverse-alphabet code that spell out "whereisthesheepman!" which is a reference to a book by Murakami. And HM's Hotel of the Aquatic Mammal refers to the Dolphin Hotel. I have no clue what that's supposed to mean, though, because I found the way out by clicking randomly on the picture. Click in the middle, near the light in the building.

5. The one with the three lights in the dark: If you click in one place, you get the "Curiosity Killed the Cat" prompt username/password is Kipper/May. It's another Murakami reference. Then in the other one you get a "Master/Betrayer" username/password prompt. It's Xerxes/Demaratus.

6. This one scares the bejesus out of me. It's just creepy. I can't make out what the people are yelling. Here's where the possibilities start splitting. I couldn't figure this one out, so I went back to the last picture by clicking the word "Are" at the bottom of the screen. I got taken back to the picture with the lights. Click on the second light from the left to get the "Dorothy" prompt. The username and password are Yuko/Gotanda. It'll take you to a picture of some windmills, which leads to a picture of a jail door, which leads to the windmills, which leads to the jail door, which leads to me going insane and turning off my computer. I haven't gotten past there yet. I was just too tired to sit and puzzle it out.

There are lots of solutions and shortcuts to this on The Cellar forums. Just do a search.

I Accidentally Killed The Crocodile With Electroshock Last Night:
For those of you who don't want to abuse your brains quite so bad, there's always The Stuffed Animal Psych Ward. The object of this game is to give therapy to crazy stuffed animals so they can go back out in the world and be lovable and cuddly again. This game is both cute and warped. I finally cured the crocodile this afternoon and it still makes me happy just thinking about it.

Enjoy!

Current Mood: Slightly anxious (damn planes...)
Current Music: "Nhee Tai Sieaw" by China Dolls

Did I Mention I Got A New Tattoo Last Week?

2005-01-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

This is not it. Damn!

WARNING: Not work safe.

Sometimes I Have Nightmares That Jack Chick Is Right.

2005-01-04T14:37:00.000-07:00

The revival of Jack Chick's thread over on Fametracker reminded me just how hilariously horrifying his work is. I love how he fails to grasp even basic concepts of other faiths, other languages, and even basic human interactions. For example, in The Tycoon, he seems to be under the impression that various people have claimed that Buddha, the Virgin Mary, "Allah the moon god", and Confucious have died for their sins. Who knew Don Ho and his Buddhist minions were so violent? In Allah Had No Son, he's completely unaware that Allah is just the Arabic word for God and that it's used by Christians and Jews as well as Muslims. And I won't even get into all of the tracts which feature doctors, professors/teachers, cops, and other people who recruit for Chick while neglecting their jobs and endangering the people who are depending on them. And it almost goes without saying that Jack Chick, not being an actual human himself, could not write a single line of believable dialogue to save his life.

Oh, and Mandy, you did say you wanted to read some stories with characters named Mandy, right? And this Mandy is a witch too! Hey, maybe you could come over some time and levitate my table? By the way, in the original ending, Mandy was murdered by witches. But on the bright side, rock music was invented by the druids, so they're not all bad.

I'm sure you can see why I'd find Chick endlessly amusing. And yet, there is a bit of fear underneath that amusement. Not because I'm afraid of Satan ("Haw! Haw! Haw!") or anything, but because people take this whack job seriously. Up here in the northern part of Idaho, where I spend about a third of the year, people take him very seriously. It isn't uncommon to find tracts, sometimes by Chick and other times from his kindred spirits, left in public restrooms or left on public benches at the city beach. Lots of people hand them out at Halloween instead of candy. I've worked at the public library here off and on for nearly four years and at least once a month someone would come in and shove tracts in the pages of books on feminism, sexuality, environmentalism, and any non-Protestant faith. And once in a collection of Oscar Wilde's plays. It's just kind of depressing to realize that I'm living in such close proximity to people who:

1. Actually believe this stuff, a lot of which is really mean spirited.
2. Feel the overwhelming need to force these views on complete strangers.
3. Are so disconnected with reality that they actually believe Chick tracts to be appealing and compelling enough to sway people's beliefs.

Still, even after all that The Death Cookie still manages to be more amusing than Upchuck Austen's Uncanny X-Men storyline about the plot to get Nightcrawler to become a priest and then Pope, at which time all the Catholics in the world would disappear in a puff of smoke (thereby faking the Rapture) thanks to scientifically engineered Communion wafers of death. For no real reason whatsoever. (I'm not making this up)

(For more Chickian weirdness, go to the official site linked at the top of this post or to this pretty comprehensive site)

The "I've mentioned my birthday is September 20th, right?" hint of the day:

I found this on the somethingawful.com forums:

Current Mood: Amused
Current Music: "Gimme Danger" by Iggy & the Stooges

Eh, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Which may be sooner than I'd planned.

2005-01-02T07:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so for the past week or so my heart has been beating funny. It'll beat normally for a while, then it'll skip a beat and then kick in really hard again. It feels all fluttery and I don't like it a bit. My mom says that our family has a history of funky heart beats due to stress. This is true, since I remember her having to leave work to go to the hospital once due to a heartbeat so weird she thought she was having a heart attack or something. She quit her job and it cleared right up. But I'm not so sure that's what's wrong with me. If anything, I should be better now since I haven't done a damn thing since Winter Break started two weeks ago.

Tonight things got worse. I finally went to bed at, like, 3 am and I was trying to sleep when my grandmother turned her TV up as far as it would go. She's got dementia pretty bad, so she's not really aware that she's crazy and kind of annoying, so you can't get mad at her. But that doesn't make a blaring TV in the wee hours of the morning any easier to deal with. I was thinking about getting up to go tell her to turn it down (that thought was quickly followed by "Hey, Monk is on!") when my mom got up and made her turn it off. Then I realized that my chest felt pretty tight and the left side was aching. My mom was in the kitchen making a cup of tea (when you wake her up, she can't usually get back to sleep), so I went downstairs to express my freaked-out-edness.

She took my pulse, and it's kind of irregular, but I'm not having any sort of crisis. So we talked about things and unless I am having a crisis, the emergency room in Sandpoint is pretty useless and the doctor's office here in Priest River doesn't open again until Monday. Dammit dammit dammit.

I don't want to go to sleep, because it gets worse when I lay down or recline and I can't sleep sitting up (usually). So, here I am at 6:30 in the morning posting this completely unentertaining post because, well, I have nothing else to do. I'm too caught up on all my message boards, and no one is posting at this time of night, er, morning, so I'm bored. Bored bored bored.

Well, fantastic. That post took 10 whole minutes to write. Only 26 and a half more hours until I can go to the doctor!

Scary Ass Link of the Day:
Since I can't sleep, I think it would be fun to spread the misery around. Here is a link guaranteed to give you nightmares so bad you won't want to sleep either!

The Other Pony Club

There really are no words to describe this. It must be seen to be believed. I'll post a little snippet from the site anyway:

Human ponies are not new. It exists when and wherever people are inspired by horsy sports. Europe, US, ex-colonial Africa, Middle East. (Though there not all ponies may be volunteers, so be warned!) From our experience we now know what works and what does not.

What the fuck, man? Seriously! What. The. Fuck?

Current Mood: Worried.
Current Music: "Love Song #1" by Meshell Ndegeocello

"Alf guest stars"

2005-01-01T03:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm totally not in a bad mood anymore. I just found the Law and Order plot generator. Awesome! Frickin' awesome! It's like having five whole episodes at your fingertips every time you refresh the page!

"Tonight on Law and Order:
A headless corpse is discovered in a park by a blue-collar man on his way to work. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a sleazy, unfeeling pusher, but after a wrongfully accused prisoner is freed, they arrest rival brothers. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must become agitated in the courtroom to win. The old DA takes a drink and says "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." Leonard Nimoy guest stars."

By the way, there's also a Law and Order coloring book. My birthday is September 20th, guys. That's all I'm sayin'.

Current Mood: Crescent Fresh!
Current Music: "Striptease" by Hawksley Workman

Happy Fucking Whatever

2005-01-01T01:36:00.000-07:00

Well, one more year over with. Let's hope that 2005 manages to drain my will to live a little slower than 2004.

Why yes, I am in a cranky mood tonight. Why do you ask?

I don't know what it is about New Year's, but it plunges me into a black depression Every. Single. Year. Maybe it's because I can't help but contemplate the previous year and it always seems like every single year was worse than the one before it ("so every day that you see me is on the worst day of my life"). I'm a glass-half-empty kind of girl, so I suppose I tend to focus on the negative, but still. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I got wasted on New Year's like everyone else. Also, I have never, ever gotten a kiss at midnight.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go complain myself to sleep.

Current Mood: New Year's-y.
Current Music: "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley

Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box...

2004-12-29T17:03:00.000-07:00

Well, I have finally been assimilated into the collective. I don't know what on earth possessed me to start my own blog. If anyone on this earth can honestly say she has no statement to make or purpose for existing, it's me. But, dang it, I was the only one of my friends without a blog and that just would not do.

Here is the place to come for random ramblings about current class-related events, amusing anecdotes about the adventures of my grandmother with Alzheimer's, battles between the "love" and the "hate" factions of my love/hate relationship with pop culture, cursing of the name of Freud, and, of course, random bits of strangers' conversations I eavesdrop on when I get bored.

Today's Discussion: Why Marvel is the devil.

Marvel has cancelled my two favorite comics. Yes, boys and girls, Emma Frost is already done and Mystique has two more issues left before the end. I could just look at this as Marvel trying to do its part for my financial health by saving me a minimum of $70 next year, but that's just not how I feel. Sure, the sales of these two may have been lukewarm, but the storylines were fantastic, the art was top notch, and the fan base was solid. If Marvel had given them time to grow, I'm sure sales would have improved. However, they were not immediately catapulted into the stratisphere, like Astonishing X-Men, so they got put down. Meanwhile, truly horrible titles like Uncanny keep stinking up the comic shops simply because it's got the numbers behind it. Seriously, I have no idea what is even happening in Uncanny half the time, and when I do I'm bored out of my mind. What happened to Claremont, man? How can this be the same guy who gave us "God Loves, Man Kills?" I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking Skrull.

In closing, I'd like to offer eulogies to my dearly departed comic girlfriends:

Mystique: When I first heard she was getting her own title, I was a bit wary. Usually, when a villain becomes the star, they get wussified. Witness Emma Frost's current state over in (Adjectiveless)X-Men. But Vaughan and McKeevers knew their stuff. They managed to give Mystique depth and a bit of softness, without dulling her tough and unforgiving nature. They also managed to portray her mile-wide nasty streak without making her unlikable. You loved her when she was proclaiming her love of Oscar Wilde and risking her life to save Cuban children, and you loved her even more when she was double crossing Xavier and slicing up the face of a woman whose cosmetics company experimented on mutants. The portrayal of her bisexuality was also admirable because it was unambiguously stated and treated as completely normal. Mystique's refusal to unquestioningly follow Charles Xavier's pipe dream and her flat out loathing of his strong arm manipulations were a breath of fresh air. She was not another Xavier syncophant, but she wasn't necessarily his enemy either. If his goals or methods interfered with hers, they would fight, but she doesn't define herself as the Anti-Xavier (as, say, Magneto does).

Also, blue girls are hot.

Emma Frost: Like Mystique, she's been known to be a bad, bad girl. In her solo book, however, we got to see her goody two shoes origin. Most of us had pretty much thought of Emma as a spoiled little rich girl, but her solo book let us see the inner strength and ingenuity that let her rebuild her fortune when she turned her back on her family. Her relationships with her father, brother, and first two boyfriends really help you to understand where some of her issues with men come from. Emma's story was much less developed than Mystique's, and if she hadn't gotten cancelled right about now is when things would have gotten really interesting. Now we can see her optimism and generosity stretched to its breaking point. The bitter cynicism is starting to set in and I really wish we could continue following her story so her transformation from shy little wallflower to lingerie-wearing, Hellfire Club-leading, Scott Summers-seducing badass would seem more complete and believable. But, alas, this will never be.

I'm going to go make myself a sandwich.