Sometimes I Have Nightmares That Jack Chick Is Right.

The revival of Jack Chick's thread over on Fametracker reminded me just how hilariously horrifying his work is. I love how he fails to grasp even basic concepts of other faiths, other languages, and even basic human interactions. For example, in The Tycoon, he seems to be under the impression that various people have claimed that Buddha, the Virgin Mary, "Allah the moon god", and Confucious have died for their sins. Who knew Don Ho and his Buddhist minions were so violent? In Allah Had No Son, he's completely unaware that Allah is just the Arabic word for God and that it's used by Christians and Jews as well as Muslims. And I won't even get into all of the tracts which feature doctors, professors/teachers, cops, and other people who recruit for Chick while neglecting their jobs and endangering the people who are depending on them. And it almost goes without saying that Jack Chick, not being an actual human himself, could not write a single line of believable dialogue to save his life.

Oh, and Mandy, you did say you wanted to read some stories with characters named Mandy, right? And this Mandy is a witch too! Hey, maybe you could come over some time and levitate my table? By the way, in the original ending, Mandy was murdered by witches. But on the bright side, rock music was invented by the druids, so they're not all bad.

I'm sure you can see why I'd find Chick endlessly amusing. And yet, there is a bit of fear underneath that amusement. Not because I'm afraid of Satan ("Haw! Haw! Haw!") or anything, but because people take this whack job seriously. Up here in the northern part of Idaho, where I spend about a third of the year, people take him very seriously. It isn't uncommon to find tracts, sometimes by Chick and other times from his kindred spirits, left in public restrooms or left on public benches at the city beach. Lots of people hand them out at Halloween instead of candy. I've worked at the public library here off and on for nearly four years and at least once a month someone would come in and shove tracts in the pages of books on feminism, sexuality, environmentalism, and any non-Protestant faith. And once in a collection of Oscar Wilde's plays. It's just kind of depressing to realize that I'm living in such close proximity to people who:

1. Actually believe this stuff, a lot of which is really mean spirited.
2. Feel the overwhelming need to force these views on complete strangers.
3. Are so disconnected with reality that they actually believe Chick tracts to be appealing and compelling enough to sway people's beliefs.

Still, even after all that The Death Cookie still manages to be more amusing than Upchuck Austen's Uncanny X-Men storyline about the plot to get Nightcrawler to become a priest and then Pope, at which time all the Catholics in the world would disappear in a puff of smoke (thereby faking the Rapture) thanks to scientifically engineered Communion wafers of death. For no real reason whatsoever. (I'm not making this up)

(For more Chickian weirdness, go to the official site linked at the top of this post or to this pretty comprehensive site)

The "I've mentioned my birthday is September 20th, right?" hint of the day:

I found this on the somethingawful.com forums:



Current Mood: Amused
Current Music: "Gimme Danger" by Iggy & the Stooges