See, This Is Why I Don't Have Internet At Home

I spend all my time messing around with stupid shit instead of doing my homework. F'rinstance, over the summer my comic book addiction began to take up more and more of my time. As a result, I spent an unholy amount of time doing google searches looking for fansites for minor X-men characters. One of my favorite sites actually turned out to be a hate site.

Once upon a time, back in 1986, Marvel, swept by a wave of nostalgia, decided to reassemble the original X-men team (Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Iceman, Angel, and Beast). To do this, they brought Jean back from the dead and gave the team their own title. They even de-furred Beast for a while. Several years later, of course, came the genius Peter David run (with an all new team). Hilarious, that was. The third team change was most people's least favorite, but I liked it. Mystique was there. But anyway, back to the topic at hand.

For a few issues, Iceman had a girlfriend named Opal Tanaka. I thought she was cute. Obviously, the ladies at B.U.C.K.S.H.O.T. did not agree. It contains all silly stuff you'd expect to find on a website devoted to hating such a minor character.

The most hysterical thing of all, is the "Who Fathered Opal's Baby?" feature where they go around interviewing a bunch of different Iceman action figures. Hysterical!

bighands2
Originally uploaded by Raksha38.

And then there's the hilarious "Bad Ex Game" between Iceman, Cyclops, Gambit, and Havok:

" And the more I thought about it, the more I realised how ridiculously bad Bobby's track record with women really has been. I mean, it's not like he's the only x-guy to fall for a few losers, but -- he's so, so _consistent_. And he does it on such a grand scale! There should be a - a _competition_ or something, just so he can get some kind of prize to make up for his complete and utter failure to ever date anyone worth spending five minutes on. He'd win first place _and_ second place.
Even if Scott played.
Actually, Bobby could win by such a large margin, he could _toy_ with them. Offer his exes in reverse order of crapness, so they think he's got nothing --
Bobby: Well, gee. This is hard. Let me think... crap ex-girlfriends, crap ex-girlfriends... I guess there was Lorna. She dumped me for Alex.
Scott: Madelyne. Do I have to mention what she did with Alex?
Remy: An' Rogue dumped _me_ in _Antarctica_.
Bobby: Darn. Guess I lose that round... Well, I suppose Judy was kinda mean. She had me lynched.
Alex: Scarlett. Had me shot, drugged, and brainwashed.
Bobby: Well, there was Infectia... she tried to kill me. Does that count?
Remy: Eh. Dat's nothin'. .Belladonna tries to kill me every time she sees me.
Scott: Ditto Maddie.
Alex: Ditto Maddie.
Bobby: Umm... gosh... Cloud? She turned into a boy, then a living nebula. That kinda sucked.
Remy: Cat. She turned into a nun.
Scott: Does a nun beat a nebula?
Alex: Yeah. Nuns are the worst.
Bobby: Okay, fine... hmm... How about Marge?
Alex: I don't think I ever heard about Marge.
Bobby: Oh, well, Marge was the daughter of Oblivion. He was, like, a supernatural entity or something. The personification of an abstract concept. I dunno. Oblivion. Nothingness. The Great Big Void at the centre of the universe.
Remy: And you... dated his daughter.
Bobby: Yeah, well. Briefly. Then she left me for her dad.
Alex: Oh. I'm assuming you don't mean that as in --
Bobby: Yes, yes I do.
Alex: ... Scott, you wanna take this one?
Scott: Dark Phoenix. Eater of Planets. Destroyer of Worlds.
Bobby:... call it a draw?
Scott: Fair enough.
Alex: So I guess that means --
Bobby: I have one left.
Alex: ... Right. Okay...
Bobby: Opal.
Scott: Well, Opal wasn't really that bad --
Bobby: And her immense pants.
Scott: ... okay. Bobby wins."
--Poi