Strange Days....

So, the weird dreams seem to be contagious. I had a really weird one last night. This is what I get for hanging out with my friends, then reading some Transmetropolitan before going to bed.

It started out in a dark, icky warehouse somewhere in (I think) Fort Collins. Rev. Linus had decided to do the ministry thing for real and had started up a real live cult, which had become increasingly popular over the years. The government was super pissed and so was harassing them a lot, so Linus decided they needed to leave the US. He was making the announcement of where they were going to his followers in this warehouse. I wasn't a member of the cult, but I was there for the announcement for some reason. Linus was wearing this huge red dress-like thing and a comically large hat. Those were his cult clothes. He said that he refused to be a second-rate Jim Jones and so would not be setting up his town in the middle of a jungle in some other country. No, he was doing it bigger and better: They were going to a parallel dimension. Seriously. Then he unveiled the portal, which promptly crashed. While he and his techies were trying to get the damn thing back online, I decided to leave since I didn't fancy drinking poisoned Kool-Aid in some bizarre ass parallel world.

When I got outside the warehouse, I ran into Spider Jerusalem who asked me if I could help him out. He was looking for a one-eyed hooker for his friend's birthday party. Seriously. I said I didn't know any one-eyed hookers, but I'd seen an ad in the paper for a contest where the winner gets to poke a woman's eye out and asked if that might work for him instead. He said it would, then hailed a taxi. Then, his Filthy Assistants, Yelena and Channon, run up asking where the hell he went. I point at the cab as it disappears down the street. Yelena flat out refuses to get in a cab, saying that every time she does, she somehow accidentally ends up having sex with Spider (?!). Channon laughs and says next time she'll bring a camera.

Then I wake up. Weird, man.